Looking back to the wild, it’s hard not to notices that most alpha wolves are generally curious. Media and popular culture have portrayed the image of an alpha male as the guy who is hunky, gets hot dates, and has the body of a greek god. Where one male and one female fulfill this role, they are referred to as the alpha pair.. The research tells us that leadership skills grow through a combination of experiential learning and study. Instead, it’s about the total person. Alphas Acknowledge their Weaknesses, Betas Pretend They Don’t Exist. For example, and to many men’s surprise, many beta males are incredibly successful in their careers and finances. It’s about breaking free from the confines of society and shunning the ways of the masses. He consults his parents, teachers and friends (all of whom encourage him to finish his degree). It’s called instinct and it’s directly related to survival. If the humans are happy and active one minute, moody and distant the next, and perhaps arguing loudly the next, the cats will reflect these changes according to their own personalities. Sure, some may come easier than others but all require focus and attention to grow. Beta males hate themselves, hate their lives, and tend to experience a life where “everything sucks.”. They do it because it’s the right thing to do and it’s simply a part of who they are. One of the best ways you can do this is to pick a topic that holds your interest and start learning more about it. If you are hoping to build your skills in this area, I highly recommend the book: Assertiveness Training: Become an Alpha Male by Robert Moore. These personalities can determine how different men will react in social and business settings alike. A classic example of this principle in action is depression. An alpha male is different from other men, as he has qualities that make him an eye-stopper in parties and functions. When it’s all said and done, being an alpha male is not about making more money, having more sex, or enjoying more prestige. Beta males follow the crowd. Do you know what you value and live by it every day? To be an alpha male, you don’t need to have 20” biceps or rock a six-pack year-round. That’s because leadership involves a trio of personality, physical traits and behaviors. In order to increase your courage skills, you’ll want to study men who have gone against the grain and made decisions that some might not agree with. In the end, being an alpha male vs a beta male has nothing to do with how you compare to other men in your social circle or city. To be a real alpha male you have to first understand what that actually means. Here are 18 personality traits that alpha males possess. One of the best books you will ever read on this topic is: Profiles in Courage by John F. Kennedy. In the same situation described above, a beta male wouldn’t even make it to the first step. Then click here to watch my new client orientation to learn more about becoming a stronger Grounded Man, breaking free from nice guy behaviors, and creating a powerful social circle of likeminded men and a high quality romantic relationship. Very dissapointed in myself. He would explain their financial situation and would firmly but compassionately ask her to reign in her spending. Well, there are a variety of ways but in my work as a counselor, I can tell you that the best approach is through doing. But it does mean you will want to study how the person carries himself. Hughes, Ginnett and Curphy (2010) McGraw Hill, 10 Laws of Alpha Males: How to Become an Alpha Male and Attract Women. Myth of the Alpha Male (2008) Hawley, P. International Journal of Behavioral Development. Instead, he would simply complain and blame the world around him. But how does one build his confidence? Beta males always die filled with regret. It’s important to understand that this concept of self-trust has nothing to do with arrogance or purported intellectual superiority. They refuse to take responsibility for their life and will seek out any scapegoat they can find in hopes that they can avoid the painful truth that their situation is a direct reflection of their decisions. Assertive, but at times gentle. But he doesn’t stop there. Make sure you stand straight when you walk. I’ve also included several book and movie recommendations for further study. They took bold risks in the face of uncertainty, marched to the beat of their own drummer, and lived a life that was true to who they wanted to be. Much has […], Copyright 2021 Guy Counseling. Wishing they could turn back the clock and pursue their dreams, express their authentic selves, and live the life they always wanted to live but lacked the courage to pursue. For example, a high-school bully shows more alpha-like qualities, while the victim shows more beta features. Because alpha males take full ownership of their lives, they tend to develop high degrees of trust in themselves. Now that we have a better understanding of the science, it’s time to move about the business of helping you to develop your inner alpha male. Join our weekly growth calls with expert coaches designed to help you become the strongest version of yourself in health, wealth, relationships and being a Grounded Man. 3. Being an alpha male is more involved than you think When people hear the term “ Alpha Male ” it, it usually conjures up mental imagery of a super good looking guy who holds the traits of being strong, muscular and charming – all at the same time. Unlike beta males, alpha males do not need validation from anyone, man or woman, to feel good about themselves. This also is tied into the fact that they have a fearless personality. Being an alpha male has nothing to do with comparison. They know that everything in their life and everything not in their life is their responsibility and no one else’s. They stay on a path that doesn’t fit them, get that soul sucking office job, marry Betty from accounting, and have 3 kids…not because they actually want this for themselves. Outwardly, they are almost indistinguishable from alphas…at first. “A-Types” are descriptors generally restricted to human beings. Keep reading to know more about alpha men. Most of the confusion stems from the complex phenomenon involving the construct of leadership. That’s because alphas are trait driven where “A Types” are personality centered. I know artists and scrawny Ph.Ds who are more “alpha” than UFC heavyweights and rich investors. They are too weak willed to change the situation and lack the courage to accept their role in it, and so they adopt the modus operandi “blame and complain.”. If you want to better understand what makes your cat tick, consider these factors that influence their personalities. Betas, cannot acknowledge their own weaknesses and, as such, their lives are ruined by them. confidence, drive, masculinity, charisma, etc). By intentionally cultivating these 9 alpha traits, you will have taken your first step to becoming the alpha male of your life and taking complete ownership of your destiny. click here to watch my new client orientation, How to Increase Willpower and Discipline (17 Insanely Simple Tips), How to Be a Man of Strength, Integrity, and Power (11 Simple Habits), [Ultimate Guide] How to Find Happiness, Joy, and Peace in a Crazy World, How to Succeed at Anything: 5 Keys to Success that Will Transform Your Life. To be an alpha male is to be courageous. For example, have you always been curious about what makes certain athletes successful? But alphas have accepted the cards they were dealt, fair or not. Travis. Alpha male qualities are learned and earned with hard work and effort. In other words, you will want to reflect upon your own leadership experiences in the past and carefully assess your strengths and weakness. In order to do it, you’ll have to identify several individuals who you that admire project strength and self-assuredness. Throughout this article, I’ll be delving deeper into the alpha personality and alpha male traits, but for now, suffice it to say that the old views on what it means to be an alpha male are dead. The reason I like Moore’s book is because it offers real world exercises that are designed to enhance confidence through the use of assertiveness based skills. When you think about it, isn’t that what alpha males do? When you have a chance, I encourage you to read this post that offers 10 ways men can build confidence. He will agree with beliefs or opinions he doesn’t truly hold, go along with the crowd, and supplicate himself to earn the approval of others. Betas, on the other hand, are passive. Modern men have lost their backbone. 6. !” He continues kicking off until the bouncers throw him outside where he continues his drunken tirade until he tires out and goes home. What this means is that being an alpha male is less about trying to fabricate some kind of alpha male personality, because there is no singular alpha personality definition or alpha male personality type. While great for the silver screen, dominance doesn’t work that way. They don’t value or love themselves enough to take a stand for their own life and bravely charge forward toward the life they desire. Not to satisfy themselves and live their life to its fullest potential. All I can say here is that alphas typically involve themselves with growing their knowledge base, which in turns helps to inform the other trait areas outlined above. Being an alpha man is more of a mindset than anything else. Instead, he simply needs to display some of the inner alpha male traits that naturally attract women (e.g. To step into a new way of being and to develop a new relationship with themselves and the world around them. But he won’t do a damn thing to accept it, fix it and grow from it. It also means asking questions and investigating the answers. But only when they believe there is something to be gained. He will have the charisma to … He’s lived – and is living – a unique life. But the traits that make them so productive can also drive their coworkers crazy. Some folks confuse the construct of “A Type” personalities with “Alpha Males”. Rather, beta males tend to be reactive to the world around them whereas alphas are proactive in creating the life they desire. I mention these because alpha traits, like the previously mentioned dominance, are not about some Neanderthal construct of masculinity promoted by those who wish to sell an image. No, that doesn’t mean you need to take acting lessons. They don’t go out with the intent to “get laid” or “pull”. Beta males need women to like them and have placed the feminine on a pedestal. Instead, I’m talking about men who overcome their fears so they don’t become paralyzed with anxiety and indecision. If you want an “Alpha” mate, you should look out for an ESTP or ESTJ. When people hear the term “Alpha Male” it, it usually conjures up mental imagery of a super good looking guy who holds the traits of being strong, muscular and charming – all at the same time. They never try to force their will or demean others for disagreeing with them. Do you set firm boundaries in your life, stand up for yourself, and prioritize your own well-being while still acting kind, compassionate, and respectful to the needs of others? And like most things that have become romanticized, there’s also a few myths. It’s important to understand that, being a beta male has nothing to do with how “manly” you are or how you stack up against other guys. It can be a previous boss, someone you played sports with or a mentor. By the time you’re done, you’ll understand the difference between alpha vs beta males and have a clear, path to becoming the alpha of your own life. In real life it takes much more than that to be an alpha male. The reason is simple. Instead, they crave connection. Life can be cruel and unfair and none of us can control what country, ethnicity, sexuality, or family we were born into. He will blame his depression for marital problems, his floundering career, and various addictions. Appearing to possess almost supernatural abilities, Damon’s character, Jason Bourne, seemed […], Table of Contents The good, bad, and ugly on the Libra man1. Betas are, by the very definition, more concerned with the opinions and thoughts of others than their own. We get the term “alpha” from the Greeks. Then congratulations. If you want to increase your intellectual capacity, it’s important to have an open mind. One of the common traits of alpha males in the animal kingdom is physical strength. After years of studying masculinity and personal development, I’ve discovered that there are nine core traits that separate the alphas from the betas and, in this section, I’m going to break them down and illustrate them to help you understand exactly what it means to be an alpha male. Here, we’re talking about researchers who spent years obserting how various kinds of animals interact with one another in their natural environment. Who strove valiantly, erred greatly, and dared mightily. Just click the button below to see everything you’re going to get! It’s time to redefine what it means to be an “alpha male.”. All in all, strictly speaking, “Alpha” INFJ men do not truly exist (if you only account for the personality traits themselves). I say this because when you think of an alpha male on a spectrum of characteristics, the ability to anticipate the moves of others and identify key threats is crucial. They tend to have a magnetic allure that makes it easy for them to meet and attract high-quality women. What separates true alphas from the pretenders and the betas, however, is the way that they interact with the women they attract into their lives. In your study of alpha men, it helps to look at pop culture for examples. They simply go with the flow, do what they’re told, and blindly accept what others say. Adopt these qualities into your own everyday life and learn how to become an alpha male. What’s important to note here is that your “alphaness” is as much a function of heredity as it is personality. Table of Contents. (2003) Bozionelos, Nikos; Bozionelos, Giorgos. But the term has been coopted by pop culture and to a greater or lesser degree, Hollywood. Mentors? You are exuding alpha behaviors. And he wouldn’t take ownership of his situation until the last possible second. What are you? The skills and traits listed here don’t just happen organically. 8. Another example of faux dominance can be found in the movie Wall Street. In my research of alpha men, I’ve discovered that most have spent time carefully studying the people they admire. In many ways, the term alpha male has a mystique attached to it. The “art” aspect of leadership relates to skills that can be grown. Unable to contain himself, the beta male makes a scene. Betas, on the other hand, need validation. Eventually, he would either explode, blindsiding his partner and taking all of his rage out in a single profanity-laden tirade. Some factors of his personality get in the way of his stellar performance as a guy. The alpha male has stories to tell. Examples include Brad Pitt, who played Tyler Durden in the flick Fight Club and Cam Gigandet, who played Ryan McCarthy in Never Back Down. Alpha Males Are Assertive, Betas Are Passive. But because a life lived as a beta male is what Thoreau called, “A life of quiet desperation.”. One of the easiest ways to determine whether a man is alpha or beta is to watch the way that he interacts with women. He would still trust himself and his vision for the company, but he would have the humility to reach out for help and get feedback from those who had “been there, done that”. They will give you their opinion on topics they know nothing about, exaggerate their successes and skills, and, when backed into a corner, will fight tooth and claw to prove they’re right. It’s about going all out and making your life mean something. Style matters2. Your cat is likely to have a basic personality but shows different mannerisms from day to day. They’ve adopted a “shadow life”. Alphas, on the other hand, seek excellence in every area of their life. All Rights Reserved. They can handle pressure and will not crumble in the midst of hardship. The alpha male can entertain. Here are a few academic definitions that I’ve taken from the textbook, Leadership by Hughes, Ginnett and Curphy, to help contextualize what we’re exploring: As you can see, the definitions are similar but not exactly the same. For example, leadership skills can be grown when a person dedicates himself to the cause. Being an alpha male is all about being the alpha of your own life. A man like this is a born leader, so when he speaks, the rest of the people around him keep their mouths shut. You don’t have to save the world, save the day or save her from a bad boy. Instead, they seek solace in the advice of others, allowing their family, friends, society, and government to tell them how to live. To be an alpha male, one generally exhibits the following traits and characteristics. Think of wolves here, where only the alpha males and females are in charge of the pack. I thought i was an alpha male my whole life, but it turns out im just the opposite. 10 Laws of Alpha Males: How to Become an Alpha Male and Attract Women, 25 Truths About The Libra Man Personality In Love And Sex, The link between animal research and “alphas”, Common traits and characteristics of alpha men, The differences between “Alpha Males” and “A-Types”, Alpha male movies that you can use as reference points, Common myths associated with guys who are alpha. To this point, the old axiom, “that trait runs in our family” strikes a chord of truth. They believe it is their responsibility and obligation to make the most of the experience while they still can. If you’ve never worked out or only have minimal experience in this area, it might be helpful to gain the assistance of a personal trainer. In any event, if you want to be an alpha man, it’s important to build this skill area. A Brief Essay on Masculinity: What Makes a Man a “Real Man”? They don’t do any of these things because they crave attention or validation or want to be liked by those around them. 2. If a beta male were to lose his job, he wouldn’t learn from the experience. They don’t care about things like connection, shared values, and intimacy and crave validation so badly that they will suffer through hours of banal conversations and a few minutes of lackluster sex with someone they don’t like just to get it. They lack a sense of self-worth and constantly seek women who will validate them and make them feel like they are worthy as a man. FYI: Famous ethologists who used these kinds of terms include movers and shakers like Charles Darwin, who is considered by many to be the father of evolutional theory, and Konrad Lorenz, a biologist credited with the psychological construct known as imprinting. It is time for men to evolve. 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